6/15/12

Barack Obama's Diary: Rose Garden edition

Dear Diary: Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was in the Rose Garden, announcing  my edict  amnesty   directive deferred action to shield young  illegals from being deported, when one of the media hacks in the audience interrupts me, yesinterrupts me with a question about how this might affect our current unemployed (who are doing just fine). What is the world coming to when someone as low in the food chain as the algae which  will one day power this nation, dares interrupt Me.  Oh, how I wish I could have replied "Off with his head!" [the Queen of Hearts knew a thing or two about staying in power.]
But, incredibly, that was not the end of today's tribulations. Next thing I hear is that  Joe Biden has gone bat-shit crazy at a mayors' conference  in Orlando. The geezer said he did not have a blue-collar background and that 'Barack'  made him sound like he had just emerged from a mine carrying a lunch bucket. The impertinence of the old dude. If I decree  that someone is blue collar,  then they damn well are blue collar. [Note to self: talk to Axelrod and Jarrett  again about dropping that knucklehead from  November's ticket, there's  very little time left.]   Meantime 'Cup' Holder is still having a rough ride in Congress. I must call him in the morning to re-assure him that his pardon is signed and ready for the remote event that I am not re-elected in a landslide. I have already  tucked up Michelle  in the presidential Tempurpedic. She's  still starry-eyed from  yesterday's celebrity-studded evening.  Now I will say a last prayer to myself, and tuck Myself up with Boo-boo my blankey... Barry luv Boo-boo...um-num-num-um...zzzz..