Dear Diary: Today was the first of two days of the most important part of my job: fund-raising. Mitt has a five-point lead over me in Colorado, and I can feel him like a weight on my shoulders. During the flight from DC on Taxpayer One I spoke with the Indian Prime Minister and conveyed condolences about the Sikh shootings. That was followed by a day of speeches. I am spending the night in the city of Pueblo. With Syria still in chaos, I have again set my iPresidophone to switch both the excitable Bibi and Vlad directly to voicemail. Even so, l doubt that I will sleep well on an unfamiliar mattress and a Mittmare is almost inevitable. I can foresee it now, the neatly manicured fingers closing around my neck as I yell: "Romney Hood." And then comes his answering cry: "Obamaloney." My faithful retainer, Marv, has laid out my back-up blankey, Boo-boo-Two, alongside my blue jammies. Barry luv Boo-boo-Two, who will keep me safe from Mitt....um-num-num-um...zzzzz...
