Dear Diary: Sasha and Malia woke Michelle with breakfast in bed: a doughnut sandwich with a mound of crispy bacon inside. Michelle calls it a cop's coronary and it's the only meal she likes more than a double cheeseburger with super-sized fries. Talking of heart attacks, this whole IRS thing is going to give me one. It's getting out of hand, now the Jews and Israel are being dragged into it. Polls are not showing me a clear direction, so I'll just have to do what's right. I mean left. But enough about me.