Dear Diary: Dudes it's been a good day for those, like me, who think that a racially divided country is something devoutly to be wished for ( "Divide and rule, nigga," as Eric Witholder always says, and then high-fives me.) After my genius statement prior to the Zimmerman trial that, if I had a son, he would look like Trayvon Benjamin Martin, means I don't need to risk addressing the subject again, since people already know where I stand. I'm so fiendishly clever that I could hug myself... and probably will.
On another subject, Michelle has been whining that an increasing number of school districts are refusing to implement her healthy lunch menus. How dare they inflame her and make my home life even more stressful? It's like walking on eggshells around here. One errant crunch and Michelle's angry voice echoes through the People's House: "Barack, you miserable little man, eat your lunchtime broccoli, then phone the Department of Education and fire their rebellious asses. "Or else it's gonna start raining Great Whites around here. " "Yes, Michelle," I reply contritely, "Sorry, Michelle... Bad Barry, Barry is a bad, bad, boy."
On another subject, Michelle has been whining that an increasing number of school districts are refusing to implement her healthy lunch menus. How dare they inflame her and make my home life even more stressful? It's like walking on eggshells around here. One errant crunch and Michelle's angry voice echoes through the People's House: "Barack, you miserable little man, eat your lunchtime broccoli, then phone the Department of Education and fire their rebellious asses. "Or else it's gonna start raining Great Whites around here. " "Yes, Michelle," I reply contritely, "Sorry, Michelle... Bad Barry, Barry is a bad, bad, boy."
