Barack Obama's Diary: Way cool at Camp David

Dear Diary: My Cabinet and I are spending the day in retreat at Camp David, in the cool mountains of Maryland. There's a nine-hole golf course which I fully intend to enjoy, probably with jokin' Joe Biden and Marv Nicholson, my trip director, while we leave the rest of the folks to form break-out groups to brainstorm strategy for the next couple years. I will not be quitting the Presidency  [as if...] Then we will return to the conference room, nod patiently at  all the hare-brained ideas and promptly ignore those that Valerie Jarrett doesn't like. But enough about me.