Upon my soul, I've had many strange experiences since waking in the bedroom of my beloved Monticello in an era much different than the 18th century. But, of my manifold experiences, none has been has been stranger than watching what is called "TV" - a portal into the world of others. Today, for example, there was much talk on "TV" of an individual called Weiner who was said to have been distributing representations of his reproductive organs to those who did not wish to see them. We foresaw a need, in the First Amendment of our Constitution, to protect free speech, as a barrier against tyranny. But we did not anticipate this kind of depraved abuse of our safeguard. A pox upon that vile Weiner and his perverted activities! Meantime, tonight I shall dine upon eggs, warm from the henhouse, and some Indian corn and peas from the vegetable garden. Happily, some things never change.