10/12/13

Barack Obama's Diary: Advance!... retreat!

Dear Diary: There I was, very pleased with myself that, by using Putin's strong arm technique  I had cowed Boehner into making a concession extending the debt ceiling by a few weeks. " Good morning, Val" I said cheerily as she walked into the office with her daily list of instructions for me to implement. She placed it on my desk and stabbed at the first item with a well-manicured  scarlet fingernail.  "Reject Boehner's offer  immediately, you miserable little man," She said, biting off the words like bullets.  "Use the weekly radio address to reject the latest offer to end the fiscal stalemate."
"But Val," I protested,"it would have reopened government through December and lifted the debt ceiling for six weeks."
"Barry" she said. "Grow a pair. You can't possibly cave in so easily. You know what Rahm always says: 'Never let a crisis go to waste.'  and if you even hint at a  default  on US debt there'll be a glorious crisis."
 I looked at the second item on her list: "Eat bowl of Froot Loops with 2% milk and await call from Putin."
I took a sip at the coffee growing cold on my desk as I  awaited the inevitable call from Vlad. After a couple minutes the  harmonies of the Moscow Steel Foundry Workers' choir erupted from my iPresidentophone.  "Obamavitch, congratulations! Did I detect my hallmark in your  handling of Boehner? You  are learning fast, Obamavitch. Now is the time  for the next phase: cause chaos in Republican ranks by rejecting their offer."  
"That's my first order of the day, Vlad,"  I said.
"Excellent, Obamavitch, you are a quick study."  Hmmm I thought.  It's remarkable how Valerie Jarrett always seems  to be a step ahead of Vlad. But enough about me.