Barack Obama's Diary: I solve the big glitch

Dear Diary:  Leadership is easy.  The Affordable Care Act has been a wonderful example of my organizing genius. I instructed  Kathleen Sibelius to create a website to welcome the millions who are waiting to embrace my signature achievement.  Some have had trouble logging in but, as Kathleen points out, you don't expect to get the whole of Manhattan into the opening night of a  much-anticipated Broadway show. "
"That's a great analogy!"  I cried.  For the answer to complaints about the Website had just hit me like a thunderbolt: "Tickets! " I exclaimed. "Let there be tickets!  We can sell tickets to people each day for $100 to gain entry to the site.  That way we can gain a ton of extra revenue and reduce the hordes to a daily trickle." I pranced around the Oval Office, dancing a little jig. "I'm a genius, a genius!  Genius is my name! "
Valerie Jarrett entered the Oval Office and joined me in  my victory dance. "Great idea Barry," she said. "But how are we going to sell the tickets?"
 "With a website, dear Valerie, dear Valerie, with a Website, dear Valerie -- Website."
"But who'll build your website dear Barry, dear Barry?"
"Kathleen Sibelius, dear Valerie , dear Valerie, Kathleen  Sibelius, dear Valerie. Dear Valerie,  Kathleen.
" But she screwed up last time, dear Barry, dear Barry, she screwed up last time:"
"Who cares, dear Valerie, dear Valerie."
"Champagne for everyone!" I yelled. and popped open a bottle of Dom Perignon from my minibar, shook it and sprayed the contents  around  the room like Nascar winner.  Michelle burst in and  said: " What the hell are you doing, Barry? That stuff is more than $50 a bottle "
 " I'm not as thrunk as you may dink I am, Michelle," I smiled. "And  taxpayers are picking up the tab." But enough about me.