Progress Notes for Patient 540463, Obama, Barack. H

11/18/2013:  Patient is exasperating me with his hysteria. He insisted on holding a mass conference call  with members of Organizing for Action at 8.30pm and expected me to be with him in case he developed a panic attack.  Never mind that I do not accept after-hours work except in a crisis. I sat by him as he stretched out on the  hideous 70s-style sofa in his family apartment,  iPresintophone pressed to his left ear. "It's a young  audience," he told me, "so I will employ contemporary phrases.  "Cowabunga,  dudes!" he yelled. "This is your  pal, Barack. I need you to sign up for  SoetoroCare. And to do it tonight....Awesome, dudes.
"Anybody have questions?  We've got a billion hollow-point bullets ready for you guys. Just joking..."
The moron seems to be losing it completely. He's sounding more and more like Hitler in his bunker as the Allies marched into Berlin. I gave Valerie Jarrett the card of an excellent psychiatric nursing  service and recommended that she arrange 24-hour supervision of patient.---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.