Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

11/19/2013: Patient is showing symptoms of major depression. He is spending long hours asleep and is listless and lacking motivation and energy. He even avoided the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, attended by Carter and Clinton. Valerie Jarrett has arranged 24/7 psychiatric supervision  as I recommended yesterday. I have come to the conclusion  that the best treatment [ironically suggested on SNL]   is a substantial course of Paxil. I asked patient, if he was OK with a course of the anti-depressant. "Cool, cool, awesome" he replied."Can we spray it over the whole nation with a crop-duster to help everyone feel happier about SoetoroCare?" I didn't answer, but I left a month's prescription for him with Valerie Jarrett. Returning to my car, I had to dodge the usual blast of air from Juan the Landscaper and his backpack leaf-blower ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.