Progress Notes for Patient 540463, Obama, Barack H.
11/5/2013 Patient is restless and has taken to pacing up and down the corridors of his official residence, muttering to himself about his woeful showing in current opinion polls. I ushered him into his private residence, where he promptly threw himself into the familiar embrace of the brown sofa unit bought by his wife at Sam's Club during one of her periodic futile efforts to play a run-of-the-mill housewife. "Doctor. I am undone," he said. "I created the Affordable Care act, and I saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the first day. But then into the garden of mass ignorance came the Sssserpent Sibelius and offered the masses the fruit of knowledge. And the masses looked at my creation which was called the ACA, and declared it unworkable." Patient had tears welling in his eyes and buried his face in the sofa. I made sympathetic noises and wrote him a prescription for hydroxyzine, an ultra-mild tranquilizer that should keep the moron together for the fund-raising journey he is taking to Dallas. ---Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.