Barack Obama's Diary: Ice breaking

Like an antarctic icebreaker, I escaped the frozen sea that surrounds Michelle early today and was driven in The Beast, with trip director and golfing buddy Marv Nicholson, to the Royal Hawaiian Golf Club. There we met with four other buddies, Hawaiians Bobby Titcomb and Mike Ramos and Chicagoans Eric Whitaker and Marty Nesbitt. [On the down-low, this was my 45th round this year, which is a source of great pride to me --how, despite my interrupted work hours, the country has prospered and  how much happier the American people are under my wise and reassuring tutelage!] It is a remarkable achievement, if I may say so myself, and I may, so I do. As we were driving to the base, my iPresidentophone burst forth with the Moscow Steel Foundry Male Voice Choir singing "Keep the Red Flag Flying."  I thumbed the Unlock button and spoke. "Hello, Vlad," for it was he. "To what do I owe this honor?" 'We've had another Chechen terrorist bomb blast," he said wearily."We have go to start working together on breaking up these militant Islamist groups."
"Tell me about it, Vlad,"
"I just did, Obamavitch."
We agreed to agree at a later date and meantime each time  there is another bomb attack, Vlad will continue to assert that security is being stepped up even more. At my suggestion the White House press office later released a statement about us having  had "constructive talks." But enough  about me.