Dear Diary: I am delighting in Hawaii's weather and golf, golf, glorious golf which heals all wounds except wifely ones. Michelle has banished me from the marital bedroom, furious at what she claims was my flirting with Helle What's-her name-Schmidt, the prime minister of Denmark, at the Mandela memorial. "How could you humiliate me in front of the world," she asks repeatedly, while giving me a stare that would shrivel an elephant at 100 yards. Valerie Jarrett wisely made arrangements for my shrink, Dr. Rink, to travel here with us. I'm due to meet with him today. But enough about me.