Progress notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

01/20/14:  Patient is being insufferably smug today after having the temerity to express his opinion publicly about the supposed harmlessness of marijuana,  purely because he occasionally smokes some. That's  like asking a college kid for advice on the perils of alcohol because he occasionally has a few beers. Patient peered at me with bloodshot eyes and said: "Tell me, Doctor Runk, I mean... Rink, what do you know about  weed that I don't? "
"That someone with paranoia such as yourself should never smoke it." I told the  moron."It leads to procrastination, laziness and insulting decisions like requiring all the guests at the First Lady's birthday bash to surrender their mobile phones." ---Dictated by S.H.Rink, M.D.