Progress Notes for Patient 540463: OBAMA, Barack, H.

2/22/14: Patient is still shivering with anxiety that Vladimir Putin will exact revenge upon him for the collapse of Ukraine. I needed another approach to calm patient, but without sedation.  He is a very suggestible man, so I decided to try hypnosis.  I told him to sit down and relax on the hideous brown sofa in his private apartment. "Look into my eyes," I said. "Look into my eyes.  When I snap my fingers,  you will feel your anxiety fall away and you will be in a peaceful trance."  I snapped my fingers and Patient instantly entered a hypnotic state.  "Look into my eyes," I told him.  "Look into my eyes.  Now visualize  Vlad Putin as a ladybug between your thumb and forefinger. Now crush him. See...now  the mighty Putin, is no more menacing than a  squished ladybug."
I then assumed a more commanding tone: "When I count backwards from Three  to One and snap my fingers, you will wake up,  with no memory of this session, feeling relaxed and  no longer intimidated by Putin.  From now on, when you hear my fingers snap, you will immediately re-enter this hypnotic state and  obey any further instructions from me, without question."  He repeated: "Yes, Doctor...without question."  At last! I can now save the moron from himself. "Three...Two...One... Snap! Patient's eyes fluttered open. "Reggie? he said. Is that you?--Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.