Barack Obama's Diary: Eaten Alive

Dear Diary: The past couple of days have been a blur which I have only negotiated with the help of Dr. S.H.Rink and his medications. To my utter consternation, the electorate appears to have voted overwhelmingly for the Republicans. On Discovery  there is an upcoming documentary in which an adventurer  volunteers to be swallowed head first by an anaconda --an experience not unlike mine this past week, as  I sat mildly sedated  in the Oval Office, entering a dark, dank, tunnel of depression, while a seemingly endless series of crestfallen aides came in, each bearing news more horrifying than the last, drawing me ever further into the body of the Beast. But enough about me.