Barack Obama's Diary: Yikes! It's Christmas and I'm giftless in Hawaii.

Dear Diary: I am in deep doo-doo. I thought I had Christmas under control,  but reckoned without the extra shipping time that Amazon needs to deliver to Hawaii. So I will have to face Michelle on  Christmas morning with nothing but a rain check. She's much bigger than me. What shall I do? An abject apology seems the only course: to kneel before her and throw myself at her mercy, declaring : "Madam Michelle I am a miserable little man, who is unworthy even to touch the hem of your Santa-and-reindeer pajamas."
I called Valerie Jarrett. who suggested  I  promise Michelle Air Force One for a vacation anywhere in the world that she chooses. Brilliant! What would I do without Valerie?