Progress Notes for Patient 54-04-163, OBAMA, Barack, H.

?/21/2015: Just when I thought I had a day clear of patients, Valerie Jarrett called, unusually agitated: "Doctor Rink, can you manage  a home visit ASAP?
"Of course," I replied. Tedious as ministering  to the needs of the Commander-in-Chief can be, there is the advantage that his  medical bills are picked up by the military and promptly paid, which, in the era of Obamacare, is something devoutly to be wished for. Valjar led me into the President's family apartment where he had assumed his characteristic fetal position, face down  on the hideous brown sofa, sobbing into the faux velvet. I raised a quizzical eye towards Valjar. "He phoned Netanyahu to scold him," she said . "But there was a bellow over phone from Tel Aviv and your Patient  immediately abandoned his  mission and retreated here, sobbing."
I administered the usual modest  dose of  Ativan "He should sleep now," I said, and left  the room, Dictated by S.H.Rink M.D.