Dear Diary: I had been feeling bereft these past few days. Then I remembered the stash of Choom stowed away in a secret compartment under the Resolute Desk where I suspect Teddy Rooseveldt used to hide his Big Stick. I rolled myself a fat spliff, called the dogs and headed onto the South Lawn to throw them tennis balls and consult my altered state of consciousness to get a second opinion about my life.
