Progress Notes for Patient 540463, Obama, Barack, H.

With the generous use of Ativan, I have brought Patient back under control after his idiotic use of Shatter {butane-dissolved cannabis oil}. Meanwhile, Valerie Jarrett is being flown to Hawaii at Mrs. Patient's behest, to keep patient on the straight and narrow. It is deeply alarming that someone so paranoid should  have his finger on the nuclear trigger. We have to hope that  the Pentagon's top brass have prepared a  detailed Plan for a coup d'etat, should one be required. --Dictated by S.H. Rink, M.D.