One of our two esteemed New York contributors, ECS, is a very proper lady. She insists that this stuff finds her, not the other way around:
12/8/14
Barack Obama's Diary: I woo the artist known as Prince
Dear Diary: My fame is spreading. Prince William came visiting today. "Hi, Dook, How is LaKatesha?" I asked him, loudly enough for any nearby open mike to pick up. My speak-like-ordinary-black-folks- campaign seems to be showing up positively in the polls, so I am continuing it for the time being.
Aromatherapy...
A scent that reduces anxiety and induces an immediate sensation of calm, control and security [TG]
12/7/14
Joke of the Day...
On a state visit to Jerusalem Barack Obama has a fatal heart attack. A funeral director tells US diplomats that it will cost $400 for him to be buried in the Holy City, versus $1million to fly his remains home. The diplomats huddle together and then opt for the million dollar option.
"Do you mind telling me why?" asks the funeral director.
"Easy, came the reply: " Some 2000 years ago a man died here, was buried here and 3 days later rose from the dead. We just can't afford to take that chance." [TG]
"Do you mind telling me why?" asks the funeral director.
"Easy, came the reply: " Some 2000 years ago a man died here, was buried here and 3 days later rose from the dead. We just can't afford to take that chance." [TG]
12/6/14
Feinstein: An update
Those who placed their faith in the quote we carried purporting to have com from Dianne Feinstein deserve an update and apology from us. Snopes, the urban myth finder has this version.
Progress Notes for Patient 540463: Obama, Barack H.
12/06/14 Patient has been in a state of near-hysteria all day, complaining of a persistent sore throat. His physician recommended a CT scan out of "an abundance of caution." [That phrase beloved of bureaucrats, meaning "if you are going to panic, panic now."] Patient was whisked away to Walter Reed Military hospital, which further raised his anxiety level, because he is convinced --with some justification --that the military are hostile towards him. Valerie Jarrett called me in to stay alongside him and give him reassurance. The moment he laid eyes on me, he seized my hand and begged me in a fierce whisper: "Please doctor, I'm terrified that these bastards are going to pull a Joan Rivers on me. Give me something to calm me down...." I gave him a small dose of mild sedative after first consulting with my old medical school buddy, Ronny Jackson, patient's long-suffering physician. Dictated by S.H.Rink MD.
12/5/14
Wicked witches of the West
Dianne Feinstein declares: "All vets are mentally ill in some way and government should prevent them from owning firearms."
Our Alaska contributor [TG] found this priceless rebuttal in the LA Times by columnist Burt Prelutsky:
"Frankly, I don't know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office. I'm not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we're Number One. There's no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters, and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on ' Macbeth '. The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You don't know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words."
Our Alaska contributor [TG] found this priceless rebuttal in the LA Times by columnist Burt Prelutsky:
"Frankly, I don't know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office. I'm not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we're Number One. There's no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters, and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on ' Macbeth '. The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You don't know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words."
Barack Obama's Diary: I choose a tough SecDef
Dear Diary: Joe Biden was pissed at the way I offloaded Chuck Hagel and he felt strongly that the next SecDef should be someone who will push back hard when representing the Pentagon. Ashton Carter was the consensus choice. I had him meet me in the Oval Office just before my formal announcement of his appointment. There was a tentative knock at the door. "Carter?" I inquired. "Sir" came the reply. "Come in," I said. "Let's begin as we'll continue. Get on your knees, crawl towards me and ask my permission before standing up." He obliged without protest. A good sign for the future
12/4/14
Hillary's Diary: Hic...hic...hooray
Dear Diary: The National Enquirer is suggesting that I am more frequently inebriated than some thinkle may peep I am. Some say Bill is trying to arrange a secret rehab for me before I begin my Presidential run. Nonsense! What difference, at this stage, could rehab poshibly make?
Obama 'mulling sanctions against Israel'
The Obama administration is refusing to discuss reports that emerged early Thursday claiming that the White House is considering imposing sanctions on Israel for continuing construction on Jewish homes in Jerusalem.
State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf dodged several questions on Thursday when confronted with reports that the administration had held secret internal meetings to discuss taking action against Israel for its ongoing building in East Jerusalem.
State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf dodged several questions on Thursday when confronted with reports that the administration had held secret internal meetings to discuss taking action against Israel for its ongoing building in East Jerusalem.
12/2/14
12/1/14
LaSasha and LaMalia in LaSnit
Dear Diary: I am continuing my efforts to get closer in speech and mannerisms to ordinary folks. No more elitist names: "LaKiesha" would be over the top. But LaSasha and LaMalia will make us sound closer to ordinary folks. They have been very upset over inappropriate comments about their demeanor at my ceremonial pardoning of the White House turkey.
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