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| [The Scranton Times Tribune] |
7/12/12
A grim fairy tale
President Obama has confessed to interviewer Charlie Rose that a key error in first two years in office was to concentrate on perfecting policy, instead of telling Americans a story about what he wanted to achieve and how he planned to get there. We have taken the liberty of suggesting a story for him:
ONCE upon a time there was a handsome, swarthy prince. The Prince was gifted, not only with intelligence, but with a magical tongue which he used to cast spells upon his subjects and persuade them to set aside common sense and opt instead for "Hope and Change." Neither the prince nor his subjects knew what "Hope and Change" were, but -- being magical -- they meant whatever anyone wanted them to mean and after 8 years of Prince George the Honorable, the people were ready for a Fresh Prince.
The principality was by then already financially enfeebled, Prince George had depleted the royal Treasury with expensive foreign wars and had borrowed heavily to keep the Principality running. The Fresh Prince who also thought borrowing was a great idea, borrowed vastly more money from the Orient, launched his own war in North Africa and granted free money for the poor, the workless, the idle and wanted to pay all his subjects' medical bills as well. The Fresh Prince distributed more and more largess, which he called "stimulus," Alas, the workless continued to multiply. Seeing this, his subjects cried out: " Woe unto us, we can't repay all these debts, nor can our children, nor even our children's children, unto the fourth or fifth generation!"
It was then that a New Prince appeared, handsome, square-jawed, thick of hair, gray of temple, strong of faith and and wise in the ways of finance. People began to turn their back on the Fresh Prince and look to the New Prince for salvation. They called him "Mitt" and both the rich and those earning under $250,000 a year, lavished him with gifts of money to help him unseat the Fresh Prince. A final, fateful duel between the two Princes is set for November 6, when this tale will be concluded ]
ONCE upon a time there was a handsome, swarthy prince. The Prince was gifted, not only with intelligence, but with a magical tongue which he used to cast spells upon his subjects and persuade them to set aside common sense and opt instead for "Hope and Change." Neither the prince nor his subjects knew what "Hope and Change" were, but -- being magical -- they meant whatever anyone wanted them to mean and after 8 years of Prince George the Honorable, the people were ready for a Fresh Prince.
The principality was by then already financially enfeebled, Prince George had depleted the royal Treasury with expensive foreign wars and had borrowed heavily to keep the Principality running. The Fresh Prince who also thought borrowing was a great idea, borrowed vastly more money from the Orient, launched his own war in North Africa and granted free money for the poor, the workless, the idle and wanted to pay all his subjects' medical bills as well. The Fresh Prince distributed more and more largess, which he called "stimulus," Alas, the workless continued to multiply. Seeing this, his subjects cried out: " Woe unto us, we can't repay all these debts, nor can our children, nor even our children's children, unto the fourth or fifth generation!"
It was then that a New Prince appeared, handsome, square-jawed, thick of hair, gray of temple, strong of faith and and wise in the ways of finance. People began to turn their back on the Fresh Prince and look to the New Prince for salvation. They called him "Mitt" and both the rich and those earning under $250,000 a year, lavished him with gifts of money to help him unseat the Fresh Prince. A final, fateful duel between the two Princes is set for November 6, when this tale will be concluded ]
Barack Obama's Diary
Dear Diary: A day fit for a king! A presidential briefing this morning with nothing else on my official Calendar all day. Joe Biden is addressing the NAACP, but some are complaining that I am taking blacks for granted, with my presence restricted to a brief pre-recorded video appearance. The ingratitude! I made it perfectly clear that I stand on their shoulders. What more do these plebes expect? A visit from me on my day off? Besides, they booed Romney, which means I can take their votes as a sure thing. I am going early to bed to recover from my exhausting day, the mantle of great power is a heavy one. I have tucked up M. and will now slide into the Presidentopedic myself, grab a hold of Boo-boo, my blankey and drift off to sleep, with the blessed sound of Romney being booed replaying in my head. Barry luv Boo-boo um-num-num- um...zzzzzz
Winner of Dung Beetle Award is...
How socialized medicine really works
The reality of socialized medicine: A dying hospital patient so desperate for water that he called emergency services. The BBC has more
[Thanks BJS]
[Thanks BJS]
7/11/12
The Dung Beetle award goes to...
New study nixes global warming
Sensible people know what a scam global warming is. Here's a new study that shows how the world has been cooling since Roman Times. Read it all.
The Dung Beetle Award goes to...
Barack Obama's Diary
Dear Diary: I been having disturbing dreams again of Ann Romney pushing her way into the Oval Office to measure for drapes and carrying wood restorer to remove my heel marks from the Resolute Desk. These dreams happen every time the polls show Mitt gaining on me. A piece of good news today: the National Organization for Women has endorsed me. Scary women, maybe, but votes are votes. I knew that making a call to Sandra Fluke would pay dividends. Talking of scary women, M. is calling out to me, so I had better end this entry, tuck her up and slide into the Presidentopedic beside her, there to grasp my blankey, Boo-boo, to ward off dreams of Ann Romney striding into the Oval Office, as I hastily remove my feet from the top of the Resolute Desk. Barry luv Boo-boo... um-num-num-um..zzzzz...
Obama hand-out scam
Scammers have a brilliant new device: obtaining personal details by telling people that Obama will pay their utility bills. Who can blame the gullible for believing it? After all, Obama has already handed out millions for insanities like Cash for Clunkers. Read more.
Heavenly Theft
This delightful pearl is stolen from the excellent Reaganite Republican [if you laugh, please reward him with many visits]:
Saint Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies approached. He peered cautiously out through the Gates and told them, 'Uh, wait here- I'll be right back.'
Saint Peter then entered The Lord's chambers and described to Him who was waiting at the entrance.
'Peter, how many times do I have to remind you not to pre-judge people who show up to enter Heaven?' said God. "We are all brothers and loved here." The saint let out a heavy sigh and returned to his post.
Peter almost immediately returned to God's chambers and said, 'Well Lord, they're gone.'
'The two guys in the hoodies?' asked God.
'No,' replied Saint Peter, 'the Gates.'
Saint Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies approached. He peered cautiously out through the Gates and told them, 'Uh, wait here- I'll be right back.'
Saint Peter then entered The Lord's chambers and described to Him who was waiting at the entrance.
'Peter, how many times do I have to remind you not to pre-judge people who show up to enter Heaven?' said God. "We are all brothers and loved here." The saint let out a heavy sigh and returned to his post.
Peter almost immediately returned to God's chambers and said, 'Well Lord, they're gone.'
'The two guys in the hoodies?' asked God.
'No,' replied Saint Peter, 'the Gates.'
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