10/31/14
Dim Crims: Woman held twice for DWZ (driving while a zombie)
Police say a woman wearing a zombie costume and makeup was charged with drunken driving twice within three hours after attending an upstate New York bar's "zombie prom" party.
Police in the town of Gates told The Democrat and Chronicle that 26-year-old Catherine Butler, of Rochester, was arrested around 2 a.m. when an officer spotted her driving without her headlights on.
She was taken to the police department, where a friend picked her up.
Officials say she got back in her car and was stopped again around 5 a.m. driving on the same road and still in her zombie costume and makeup. Her police mug shot shows her wearing fake blood and cuts on her face. [Source]
Police in the town of Gates told The Democrat and Chronicle that 26-year-old Catherine Butler, of Rochester, was arrested around 2 a.m. when an officer spotted her driving without her headlights on.
She was taken to the police department, where a friend picked her up.
Officials say she got back in her car and was stopped again around 5 a.m. driving on the same road and still in her zombie costume and makeup. Her police mug shot shows her wearing fake blood and cuts on her face. [Source]
More than 50% oppose stricter gun laws
Less than half of Americans support stricter gun laws.After spiked following the Newtown shooting, views about the sale of firearms have returned to what they were earlier in the decade. Americans still oppose a ban on handgun possession, Gallup reports
Barack Obama's Diary: Putin the Geek
I was eating my accustomed bowl of Froot Loops this morning when I heard a familiar voice: "Good morning, Obamavitch!" I was incredulous as I had switched off my iPresidentophone to avoid Putin disturbin' my breakfast. Then I realized: The voice,was coming, not from my phone, but from my computer. "We have penetrated your private White House network, Obamavitch. You are now accessible to us 24/7. How do you like dem apples? Dem apples...gedddit?" Piss off Putin!" I said pleasantly, as I scooped up a final mouthful of cereal and 2% milk. But enough about me.
How Islam is changing the West
After the recent Islamist outrage in Ottawa, Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper said, “let there be no misunderstanding. We will not be intimidated.”
That’s tough talk, just what the public expect. And we’ve heard it before from another politician, Britain's PM David Cameron, after the Islamist murder of [soldier] Lee Rigby. Mr Cameron said: “We will never give in to terror—or terrorism—in any of its forms.”
When politicians say such things, are they saying they are determined to speak the truth and seriously defend our Western way of life, or is such talk little more than fear and bravado, hoping to reassure an increasingly worried public about Islam in the West?
Mr Cameron went on to say, “one of the best ways of defeating terrorism is to go about our normal lives.”
Presumably, going about our normal lives is what “not being intimidated” means. Yet recently, the Home Secretary Theresa May threatened the most sweeping changes to traditional freedoms that the British have enjoyed for hundreds of years, all because of Islamic terrorism. What is normal or “not being intimidated” about abolishing long-held traditional freedoms?
And now armed soldiers have to guard Horse Guards Parade, with its ritual ceremony of the Changing of the Guard. That’s London today. Innocent tourists have to be protected from threatened Islamist attacks. What is normal, we may ask, about armed soldiers on London’s streets protecting the public from Muslim extremists?
Over in Canada after the latest atrocity, military personnel have been requested “to restrict movement in uniform as much as possible.” That request came from Rear Admiral John Newton, Commander of Maritime Forces Atlantic.
So the Canadian military’s response to Islamist aggression in Canada is to instruct military personnel to take off their uniforms. Is that defending our Western way of life? How is it “not being intimidated” when you are afraid to walk your own streets in your country’s uniform?
If Prime Minister Harper meant what he said about “not being intimidated”, was this not precisely the time to insist that Canadian values be respected by all citizens? " [Source]
That’s tough talk, just what the public expect. And we’ve heard it before from another politician, Britain's PM David Cameron, after the Islamist murder of [soldier] Lee Rigby. Mr Cameron said: “We will never give in to terror—or terrorism—in any of its forms.”
When politicians say such things, are they saying they are determined to speak the truth and seriously defend our Western way of life, or is such talk little more than fear and bravado, hoping to reassure an increasingly worried public about Islam in the West?
Mr Cameron went on to say, “one of the best ways of defeating terrorism is to go about our normal lives.”
Presumably, going about our normal lives is what “not being intimidated” means. Yet recently, the Home Secretary Theresa May threatened the most sweeping changes to traditional freedoms that the British have enjoyed for hundreds of years, all because of Islamic terrorism. What is normal or “not being intimidated” about abolishing long-held traditional freedoms?
And now armed soldiers have to guard Horse Guards Parade, with its ritual ceremony of the Changing of the Guard. That’s London today. Innocent tourists have to be protected from threatened Islamist attacks. What is normal, we may ask, about armed soldiers on London’s streets protecting the public from Muslim extremists?
Over in Canada after the latest atrocity, military personnel have been requested “to restrict movement in uniform as much as possible.” That request came from Rear Admiral John Newton, Commander of Maritime Forces Atlantic.
So the Canadian military’s response to Islamist aggression in Canada is to instruct military personnel to take off their uniforms. Is that defending our Western way of life? How is it “not being intimidated” when you are afraid to walk your own streets in your country’s uniform?
If Prime Minister Harper meant what he said about “not being intimidated”, was this not precisely the time to insist that Canadian values be respected by all citizens? " [Source]
10/30/14
10/29/14
Dear Cabby: [Advice for all]
Dear Cabby: My boss "Clueless" has just charged me with halting the spread of a deadly plague. Alas, I am totally out of my depth and completely inexperienced in such a role. Please Help! ----Citizen Klain
Dear Citizen Klain: With someone like "Clueless" in charge, we are already doomed --DOOMED-- I tell ya. Fuggedaboud any "advice" from the White House and the CDC. They are all lying bastards. When in doubt, follow what the military do. They put their troops first. Meanwhile, I suggest you put yourself into immediate voluntary quarantine, which will give you freedom to roam Nu Yawk by subway and taxi, but cut you off from "Clueless" so he can't complain about you being AWOL. Keep away from Bellevue Hospital lest they make you live in a tent. Good Luck. You're gonna need it.---Cabby
Dear Citizen Klain: With someone like "Clueless" in charge, we are already doomed --DOOMED-- I tell ya. Fuggedaboud any "advice" from the White House and the CDC. They are all lying bastards. When in doubt, follow what the military do. They put their troops first. Meanwhile, I suggest you put yourself into immediate voluntary quarantine, which will give you freedom to roam Nu Yawk by subway and taxi, but cut you off from "Clueless" so he can't complain about you being AWOL. Keep away from Bellevue Hospital lest they make you live in a tent. Good Luck. You're gonna need it.---Cabby
Barack Obama's Diary: Bibi down, Vlad still to go.
Dear Diary: I had barely taken a break fom Bibi's excoriation of me, when the Song of the Volga Boatmen burbled mournfully from my iPresdientophone. I said "Hello Vlad, [for ir was he] you calling to gloat? " "Obamavitch, what do you expect when you use decades-old Russian rocket engines to launch a 21st Century spacecraft? They make Yuri Gagarin look young. "Gagarin, Obamavich? He was our first man in space." But enough about me.
10/28/14
Barack Obama's Diary: Bibi's ire is unleashed upon me
Dear Diary: I was munching away happily at a generous bowl of Honeynut Cheerios this morning, when the unmistakeable strains of Hava Nagila burst forth from my iPresidentophone. I had been expecting an irate call from Bibi Netanyahu ever since one of my aides was quoted as having dismissed him as "chickenshit." Bibi never allows such things to pass without comment. I held the phone a couple feet from my ear and waited for the torrent of abuse to subside before attempting any conversation. Hebrew is a very expressive language for cursing. I'm told that it exceeds even Afrikaans for this purpose. But enough about me.
The stamp of failure
Our Man in Alaska, the eagle-eyed TG: sends this:
"The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it, but soon noticed
that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special commission presented the following findings:
1.The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the glue.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side..."
"The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it, but soon noticed
that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special commission presented the following findings:
1.The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the glue.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side..."
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