3/13/12

Barack Obama's Diary

Dear Diary:  It was a heck of a Monday, with the daggone military putting me in the cross-hairs again. I'm generally proud  of the military, except when I'm not.  
Meanwhile the bitter clingers  in fly-over country are getting mad at the price of gas, yellin' as loud as  Michelle  does when I open  a pint of Academia Nut  Ice Cream [that's funny, though I say so myself, and I do.]  
The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, is here Tuesday. He'll have questions about  Iran and  continuing British support for us in Afghanistan. Awkw-a-a-rd. Valerie Jarrett came up with a brilliant solution:  psych him with a trip  aboard Air Force One to  a basketball game in Ohio [ I'll bet the poor  broke Brit  normally flies in an ultralight powered by a two-stroke lawnmower engine.] Once  we land in Dayton I'll take him  in the Beast  straight to a college basketball game where he'll be too busy to talk, mugging for the cameras, pretending  to enjoy  a game he knows sh*t about. 
Back In DC,  I'll unleash Hillary on him on Wednesday, fill him and his wife Samantha with Michelle's frozen summer peas at  a State Dinner  after which  they'll have to leave  for their suite  in a hurry.  Again no time for awkward questions. Slam dunk. Valerie is a genius, scarily so. Talking of scary, the Duchess of Peas is calling. Time to close the laptop, say a quick bedtime prayer to myself thanking me for my genius. And so to bed.