Dear Diary: I will soon be ready for beddie-byes in Des Moines on the first night of my majestic three-day procession through Iowa. My campaign staff have been working all hours to find something negative about Paul Ryan, aside from his effrontery in disagreeing with my majesty on ways to get the economy humming again. They have found zero so far. We may have to call in Harry Reid to accuse Ryan of something heinous and then demand Ryan prove himself innocent. Yikes: I thought I had Iowa to myself but I'm now told that Ryan is stumping here too. Awkwaard. Meantime, Joe is in North Carolina. If our approval rating continues to drop, I may order Joe to go for broke and get a dark-brown toupee so he can compete with Ryan for the ladies. Who knows, it might fly in Florida. Marv, my invaluable tour director has laid Boo-boo-Two, my back-up blankey, alongside my blue jammies. Barry luv Boo-boo-Two...um-num-num-um...zzzzz...
