Dictated aboard Air Force One en route from Florida to Dayton, Ohio: Dudes ! I am leaving Florida on a jubilant wave. My new ploy of fixin' Mittman with a dagger-like stare was a huge success. Axelrod and Jarrett were over the moon. And best of all was my riposte about horses and bayonets. Boom! I only wish I could have twisted the ...uh.. knife with a zinger about the Romneys' Olympic dressage horse. This race is becomin' even tighter. But I am in no doubt that after last night's routing of Romney, the American people in the privacy of the votin' booth will choose Yours Presidentially. With a bit of luck, that nice Mr Ahmadinejad in Tehran will come through with a concession in the next few days that will hold Bibi in check and carry me through to November 6, glowin' with diplomatic glory. Now, to prepare for my uh...Dayton debut..."
Hello Dayton. I always think of ya'll as the pearl of Ohio...[pause for prolonged rapturous applause]
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