Dear Diary: Putin is becoming a synonym for pain. It was too rainy for golf yesterday, so I traveled to Nancy's in scenic Oak Bluffs and ordered a lunch of fried shrimp, fried oysters, onion rings and french fries. Afterward, I took the fried chow to the Oak Bluffs home of my senior aide Valerie Jarrett to share lunch. Barely had I bitten in to a delicious shrimp, when the iPesidentophone warbled in my pocket. "Obamavitch! Are you enjoying your seafood?" Putin showing off again. "Oh, not this time, Dude," I said. " Ferk off!" I disconnected and smiled at Valerie who was chomping down on an onion ring. "Val, did I seriously just say that?" I asked her."Yes you were awesome!" she said."You're finally getting the hang of the diplomacy thing." But enough about me.