Barack Obama's Diary: Michelle calls again

Dear Diary: She's coming home! As I was eating my Froot Loops my iPresidentophone screeched the police siren sound that I have assigned to Michelle. "Hello, my sweet." I said. She said: "Long story short, I'll be back on Wednesday and I want that bearded shrink out of our quarters by then."
"But, sweetie, i've told you that Dr Rink not in our quarters. He just has a bunk elsewhere in the White House, so he can  be called upon quickly if I have a panic attack."
"Oprah says there should only be room for one beard in the White House and with Rink and Carney that makes three."  I didn't have  the heart to argue the point any further. The relief that she would no longer be publicly humiliating me was overwhelming. "I have missed you so much, sweet giant," I said and immediately regretted it. "Sweet giant? She said. "Just you wait until I get home, you miserable little..." and she hung up.