Dear Diary: A difficult day. I had a wake-up call from Michelle who was up early for a day's skiing in Aspen, checking to see that I was sober and up and about. That was followed by a call frpm the increasingly irritating Vladimir Putin. "Obamavich, that hockey game that you supposedly won 3-2. was the result of blatant bias by the American referee. Your athletes are doing disappointingly, Obamavich. The medal count is farcical for a country of yoursize.
Bwaaa!ha!ha!ha! And even fatty Walesa of Poland has been publicly insulting your leadership as inadequate"