Dear Diary: I have been deeply disappointed by the reaction of people of color across the country to my pleas for peace over the Ferguson shooting. After much soul-searching and generous bowls of grits, chitlins and collard greens, I have concluded that I need to get closer to the people's speech patterns and show that I am more akin to them, than the honky crackers in my administration: I made a start by dumping Chuck Hagel as Defense Secretary. I have decided also to employ an Ebonics speech coach, so instead of saying "violence is not justified as a part of a legitimate protest' I echo Michael Brown's stepfather and say something like : "My brothas and sistahs you mussn't 'burn this bitch down." Valerie Jarrett and Eric Witholder think it It will transform my street cred. I might even try it on Vlad Putin to throw him off balance.
