Dear Cabby: Our Advice Column

Dear Cabby: I'm worried about the Michigan primary. Folks are saying that, if I don't win, the GOP will look for another candidate. And people keep talking about the dog I put on the roof of the family car a couple decades ago. What should I do? --Mitt R.


Dear Mitt: Is there a dog in the box you put on  da roof of my cab? Why didn't you bring da pooch inside? You gotta problem widdat?  This is New York in February.  It's  goddam freezing out there. And whaddya doing in Manhattan when you should  be in Michigan?  What? Getting your haircut at John Allan's? Ya gotta be kiddin' me. 
Hey! Your  box just  slid off da roof onto onto da trunk. I'm pulling over. Fetch it  quick, Mitt, if da dog gets out, and da tabloids to hear about it, Rick will kick kiss your sorry ass  in Michigan.--Cabby.