Dear Diary: I think I may once again have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. I have found the solution to Israeli/Palestinian conflict by comparing it to relations between Canada and America. We may have small differences like the pronunciation of "about"....or "aboot" and who makes the best beer. But we manage to disagree without us firing rockets at the Canucks and them tying to blow us up with suicide bombers. I suggested a new national anthem to Mahmoud Abbas:
O Ramalla... Pure genius, if I may say so myself, and I may. Tonight I look forward to boarding Air Force One, where my trip director Marvin Nicholson [himself a Canuck] will have laid out my blue jammies and my blankie
Boo-
Boo ready for me to rub my blankey's satin edging against my cheek as I fall asleep in my personal bedroom, listening to my inspiring speeches on my iPod, with noise-cancelling earphones silencing most of the roar of the four Pratt & Whitneys outside. If I can't sleep or wake early, Marv has installed a DVR with several episodes of
Storage Wars on it, so I can keep up with Barry Weiss's crazy exploits. Marv is very considerate and always has a bottle of Purrell hand sanitizer in a jacket pocket so I can take a quick squirt after shaking hands with unsavory characters of which there are many in this part of the world..
