12/30/15

Barack Obama's Diary: My Secret Service detail goes to 'Plan B'

I decided to collect dear Valerie Jarrett at Honolulu Airport. Marv Nicholson set it all up and we proceeded there by motorcade. Alas, some tiresome Secret Service agent spied a drone following us; I was bundled into one of four anonymous armored black Yukons in the motorcade to wait out Plan B, the much-rehearsed counter measures for  attack on a presidential motorcade. Up popped the electronic gun of The Beast which outperforms even a Gatling gun, pumping out bullets so precisely that several slugs travel down the barrel simultaneously, forming a river of lead. Exit drone.